Writings: Waking up on the wrong side of sane

Sanity may be a spectrum, but there is a threshold that distinguishes normalcy from insanity. Crossing that boundary is a waking up of sorts and is what I mean by waking up on the wrong side of sane. What is insanity? Insanity is a little honeybee trapped in a human brain; a honeybee with a mission buzzing a honeybee dance that cannot be described by human language yet maps out a pattern to be followed at all costs. How did the honeybee get in the brain in the first place? That is a question for the medical scientists to answer. But maybe some people wake up in the morning to find that she's there in their heads communicating some mysterious message that is ineffably understood.

I imagine that insanity wakes up to cold, gray days alone. The room looks different like the perspectives of a cubist painting. Eyes sting, hands are numb; it's hard to breathe. There is always a headache, and it's a terrible one because the bee is trapped and wants to get out. Insanity may seem to be the definition of disorder and chaos, but in actuality, it may be as goal-oriented and focused as living life gets because there is only one thing that an insane person seeks: relief.

Schizophrenics can wake up insane, so can addicts, sociopaths, maniacs, phobics, and people who were entirely normal yesterday only to find themselves completely off-kilter today. Insanity is a tense existence, and the realization of relief is hard to come by if ever actually achieved. Of course balancing on the thinnest, highest tightrope every moment of the day is impossible, and there is no greater Sisyphean frustration than the feeling of falling.